Saturday, August 17, 1963
Dear life,
Little May [illegible] was a success. [illegible] not been able to bend [three words illegible] last week at Richmond [two words illegible]. I was one of twenty laid off yesterday. In the afternoon I followed [two words illegible] arrived home 6:30. Al was just leaving, I felt a note “Going gold pan doffing in [two words illegible] Bill Reffer, [three words illegible]. By yourself something there laid $700.
In the past six & a half months I’ve consented, [illegible] & [illegible] at my [two words illegible] for society seminar, I [illegible] my [illegible] & [illegible] in doing so when I’m not [illegible] of concern for Al through words & action I feel lonely. I do not think I’ve ever been [illegible] lonely. But now, I’ve [illegible] and clipped in [illegible] in this, loneliness. I could not siege any day [illegible] to my future &
August 17, 1963
busy work. At, 9:00 I walk to the town theater. Long Days Journey into Nights – superb. [illegible] could be [illegible].
I associated with Eugene O’Neels(?) lead lady. Consequently, a new outlook on a particular? [illegible] of a section of my [illegible] means of existence & manner of decision & [illegible] actions in [illegible].
For the sake of low and [illegible] at the moment or for the rest of any meaningful [illegible] is it would [illegible], buying, a part of you that [illegible] to the total good of the mental [illegible]. Yes, if the wonderful [two words illegible] not, if it [illegible] & if those great enemies [three words illegible] can [two words illegible] or are filled [illegible] will & [illegible] part.
August 17, 1963
Then, Al, you are to fill that part I’ve buried. But you not [two words illegible]. There is definitely a lack of enthusiasm. There is concern [illegible] as in O’Neels play the life triangles [illegible] and who Robert [illegible] another of participation for rebellion would [illegible], said “yes, he loves me, but in the [illegible] away” [two words illegible] is. I will accept their [illegible] & in the mean time [illegible] a [illegible]? I do not know.
It is [illegible]; might will [illegible]; tomorrow is [illegible]. All will return from the [illegible]. Then again, will he return or was he always there?
I am not [illegible] to change [illegible] I want to give, but does he really want to accept! No, not completely. Then, Patricia what in life’s name are you doing here?
Mon, Tues & Wed.
Mon & Tues we mingled emotions & drifted contently. Wed “I’ll not be home tomorrow, going with Gary to the [illegible] to [two words illegible] Ruth.” When I confronted him about the [illegible] – “[illegible] to work on the car.” [illegible] fall – I cared not for his love stays was my mental [illegible].
Dr. Carl Duncan and Patricia Whiting Collection (SJSU)
