My darling Patricia:
As I sit here and muse about the hours we’ve spent together; and think back on an evening like tonight; when everything - cocktail, glasses clinked and toast, with eyes raised each to each, with meal delicious, satisfying and with absorbing conversation - were right as anyone might wish;
I feel a sort of grace envelop me and once more I know, amongst all me, I am most fortunate. And so, although, by you I am bewitched, my spirit’s strengthened. With you I feel secure. No harm can come to me. “Get over in the right lane, Carl.” “Look out; that light is red!” you say and I do know my guardian angel’s watching over me. I grow, expand, and in your presence, I move upward on the road to health complete, the health that once was mine and shall be mine again!
Four lifts tonight you gave me, that lie beyond your taste supreme - a bonus rich and full rewarding -declared by everything about you! your persona nd your personality’s elegance - in dress, in learning, in courtesy and kindness showered round about; in sweetness and in beauty never failing.
I know that all who see you note and mark these qualities, and I feel warm inside and proud. Your radiance unlimited builds happiness within my soul. And peace - because of trust and confidence you show me.
Lift one: “I like you better now - you are more handsome than in the pictures that you showed me. Too think you were when that was taken.” It is so wonderful to be appreciated as one is, and not have deprecations heaped upon the changes brought by time. Even though, myself, I want to lose more pounds - another ten at least. And I do want to overcome distress that yet does lie within. Your spirit is helping me and soon, it is my thought, I shall be whole again. For all of this I thank you.
Lift two: thoughts of a long day - December 21, approaching, to roam the streets, explaining with you and drinking in the beauties of the world in which we live; sharing delights in things so simple; in the charms so hidden from the blinded [page 2] eyes of those without imagination, who only “happy” are when they are “in the groove”, conforming to the stultifying mores of the regimented, who cannot see the dandelions in the sidewalk’s cracks - or think them “only weeds”-who cannot sense the odors delicate that ride the wind or perch within the droplets of the fog, and which, although anemia’s stolen from me the power, I yet their glory can remember, and their subtlety; who do not thrill to hear the seagull’s cry as overheard it wheels and turns and searches, with alert and watchful eyes, the offerings by man discarded on the streets or in the parks. For all of these in their entirety, I’m thankful too.
I know no other should with whom I so feel kinship. With eyes for poetry and with insight philosophical, together do we gather riches all along the way where most see only dross and mundane dullness.
Lift three: as future’s safeguards we discuss and by the strength and independence in your eyes and voice I’m buoyed up; as you display the courage and the confidence in self with which you face the perils round us [?], in this lost age of problems burgeoning; your willingness to take whatever life may bring you and work out the adaptations needed to survive and stay afloat, while storms go past. And then, in contrast, and in voice articulate, show only that it’s for” mom you are concerned, for Leon, Connie and the little ones”, as you strive to help and point the way between the rocks that lie ahead; helping them prepare to meet fate’s currents and with eyes clear forge boldly on beyond the point of no return.
And finally (lift four), your let me, through the confidence and trust you show in me, participate in common efforts and activities that all must carry on from day to day, to justify ourselves and nature’s largesse, so abundantly and so freely on us all bestowed: shopping (enriched by your companionship the while); and you invite me into your apartment (though “all’s in disarray”) as it’s been pushed aside, for studying, typing, or for other things that must be done, like washing clothes and bedding to maintain [page 3] your standards. No pretense need you show to me, as this quite well you know, but of such things, affections born and nurtured.
Is it any wonder, darling, that I treasure every hour, each time fragment that I spend with you?
Goodnight, my sweet, and may your sleep be restful and your dreams be joyous ones. For I could hold no happier thought than that, though you keep it hidden in your breast, perhaps, betimes, you’ll find me also there - to share your dreams.
With my full love, as always - Carl.
Dr. Carl Duncan and Patricia Whiting Collection (SJSU)
