Dearest Patricia:
The Audubon program was superb - it is too bad that you couldn’t have shared the joy of it with me - but that is the way life is in this most exciting time in the history of the world! When one’s mind is alive and his spirit buoyant, it is impossible to partake of all that life offers and one must decide between alternate possibilities - sometimes on the basis of positive choice of the moment (that is good fortune), sometimes to ear one’s place in the world, as when you work for another for the wherewithal to exchange for necessities, and sometimes because the need to lay a firm foundation for the future overshadows the alternative choices.
It pleases me that most of the time you seem to possess the wisdom to know and recognize these different situations and to decide accordingly. But you would have liked the man, Dee Jay Nelson, who tonight presented his film “Inherit the Wild”, compounded out of selected portions of his more than twenty T.V. programs but who, as Ron [?], who introduced him said, has interests so wide that he has a license to navigate boats of moderate size, he is a plane pilot, he flew a “Spitfire” in the early part of the last war, who later was a “mercenary” flying a plane for [?], etc., etc., etc.. he seems a little like Hans de Meiss-Teufen.
Nelson has a charming and beautiful wife, who runs the projector and handles his film for him and a daughter of about 10 or 11 years, both of whom roam whatever wilderness he explores for nature pictures and who seem to love all of it.
Oh yes, Nelson is a past president and continuing member of the Explorer’s Association - limited to 200 persons - present President Edmont Hilary (wasn’t he one of the first persons to reach the top of Everest?) he has seen more sea cows (manatees) than any other living person, been around the world 4 times. His little daughter has been around the world twice and [page 2] spent some time in 64 different countries (Nelson has been in 78) etc., etc., etc. again.
The pictures - partly taken by his wife - cover an enormous range of subjects from 7 ton whales (the largest of the dolphins) down to ants and grasshoppers - clear close ups but no long sequences, not long enough in fact but all beautiful and full of exciting action. Well - that’s that!
I’m truly sorry that I disturbed you so much this morning, but I do hope that you understood my motives sufficiently to forgive the actions after so emphatically - as was your right - saying you don’t want me to repeat them. But rightly or wrongly, I was concerned for you - on your first call you confessed your weariness, said you were confused, couldn’t think clearly, must go to bed again, etc. but would be over in a little over an hour. At an hour and nearly a half I phoned - waited through a good 20 rings - then walked over - knocked only moderately loudly a few times, got no response or heard none - checked and found that your bicycle was still in the basement so I knew you had not gone to the college, so I then came back and knocked loudly and repeatedly, as you know.
You seem to take life events so lightly - saying that if you did have a heart attack; I shouldn’t worry; it would be too late to do anything - but really if you had an attack of anything and I had not persisted in attempts to contact you, I would have been censured serverely on every side for my indifference, and for my failure to get help for you, because a spell of illness would not necessarily be a final calamity. Seriously ill persons often are brought back to complete normalcy by adequate help in time. And if such really had been needed and I failed you, no one would let me forget it and I would have been utterly crushed!
So please show me as much charity as you can. You mean so much to me in so many ways [page 3] that perhaps I do get more concerned than I should. I have been schooled most of my life in the idea that if I have a responsibility, either I meet it or I break my neck trying. I’m trying to appreciate your point of view and perhaps, in time, I can. But breaking a habit as long established as mine, when you mean so much to me, is not easy. So, as I beg forgiveness, temper it with as much understanding as you can.
I still love you genuinely and very deeply - and that calls for give and take - admitting the validity of the scoldings you give me with seeming good reason. Your friendly voice and good wishes after the disturbance is over - as this eveing when I said I was going to the Audubon showing - and you warmly wished me a good evening - reassure me and make me feel that really all is well. I hope I am right, for I feel that, though the conditions were different and not so much under entirely your control or mine, my actions were motivated by consideration not very different from those of the Whitings, when they postponed Thanksgiving dinner so you could share it with them and showed you all the other considerations they have done. I know, from talking with Betty Whiting and Bobbie, that they would put themselves out in every conceivable way, if for any reason they thought you might be n any distress at all - and for much the same reasons as I would.
To you, whose voice is music/
And poetry combined,/
Who can fill my horizon till/
I forget all else -/
I would be utterly desolate, if anything/
Did go wrong, and I had left/
Anything undone,/
If finally I learned that all/
Was too late and I knew/
That once again I was all/
Alone./
With all my love and affection
Sincerely yours - Carl.
Dr. Carl Duncan and Patricia Whiting Collection (SJSU)
