Dear, Dear Patricia:
As I write, I have your pictures before me - on the wall and on the table - I keep them always near and look at them often.
Tonight our dinner seemed to be an especially happy one. The only trouble is that the time goes so swiftly and almost before I know it I’m looking forward to the next one again. I’m counting on you to help me to stay well and happy so that I can live for quite a few years yet and continue to enjoy the associations I am permitted with you. And in time, I think that even the shallowest of our gossipy acquaintances and relations (the latter mine) will realize that their suspicions are unfounded and they’ve really just been making fools of themselves.
I was pleased to have you say tonight that in calling me Carl - which is music to my ears - you were thinking of me as a companion, but that you felt that the thought of me as godfather to you was a beautiful way of looking at our relationship was the way it should be and (by implication) the way it should be explained to others whenever they are curious - well that cheered and warmed me inside too.
Seems like I still haven’t straightened accounts with you yet. I’ll call you early in the morning - too early for you to have found and read this missive and if you should have the rest of the money immediately, I’ll bring it right over.
I’m happy too that you will let me listen to you read your selections from Shakespeare but don’t forget and let the days slip by - call me anytime you want to practice and I’ll hustle over and I promise - I’ll be a good listener! Also, don’t forget - as I said any time you think I’m spouting my ideas too eagerly, when I’m in a group or with anyone else - just give me a nasty look and I’ll know what you mean. I mean nothing by it, as you know, but such “meaning nothing” can become a bad habit and I truly and deeply appreciate a young person whom I love and admire like yourself who has the poise, the balance, and the nerve to include analysis in with their friendship and affection, and tell me forcefully when and why I’m in the wrong and what I can do to better things. Your willingness and ability to do this to [page 2] me stands as a sure indication that our relationship is on a firm and secure foundation. I have never felt happier or more secure with you than I do now and it’s just because we definitely and without emotional excitement can be so honest and frank to one another. There is plenty of room for me to cherish emotions toward you - a great big bundle of them and a great source of happiness but those emotions don’t need to include any concern that you’re picking on me (or vice versa) because you think I don’t always show good judgment. Only persons whose affection for each other is deep and genuine can help each other to improve as personalities by occasionally calling attention to blunders made and ways to get over them.
Looks as if my day tomorrow is to be a full one. I have your mom’s two cameras to take to Ed Crismondi (San Jose Camera Shop) to have cleaned and put back into ship shape again. Also I’ll get a tripod, for sure this time, pus an extra camera body to hold black and white film - so I can shift the lenses to it or back to the present one as needed. Then perhaps tomorrow PM I can get the close up shots of George’s caterpillars and the pupae hanging from the window casings - as well as Leon holding the little gopher. By starting to take pictures that may be used for illustrations I feel that I’m really getting under way on my writing project - even before summer! It’s a good feeling.
Then I’ll run up to Palo Alto (turtle speed) get the book on Vilanova (stress on second syllable! Ha ha!) and an assortment of fruit from the market there. Then in the evening I think I’ll go hear the lecture by Dr. Hilgard of Stanford on “Hypnosis and Personality” at 8 o’clock in the men’s gym. And then the day will be over. It should be a good day!
My time is now up - my paper is about gone by my affection for you lingers on and stretches indefinitely into the spaces of time that lie ahead. Good night, Darling. Much love -Carl
Dr. Carl Duncan and Patricia Whiting Collection (SJSU)
