556 South 5th
February 4, 1965
11:05 P.M.
My dearest & only Patricia:
You “stole a March on me!” I had thought that I might get a valentine to you before you did to me, but you beat me to it! I love your card – and the designation of Godfather is as appropriate as any could be, in spite of the unconventional way in which I have acquired the title. Actually, this title has certain advantages. It is a standard term that indicates an accepted degree of relationship and will be understood by anyone to whom it is made known. In fact, should you wish to introduce me to anyone under this title, it would occasion less explanation than almost anything else that might be used.
Of course, I shall let you decide if you want to use the title or not. And I shall suspect that you will continue to call me, “Carl,” personally. I have grown so fond of you calling me “Carl” that I really wouldn’t want you to do anything else, but when anyone shows curiosity about our relationship, “Godfather” will be an appropriate title and I’ll do my best to live up to the name. I’m proud of the relationship, as you well know, and I am more delighted with you as a person as the weeks go by. It has made me so happy to discover that you have the same kind of sensitivity, taste, and discrimination in your personal behavior, your appreciation of line & style in clothes and accessories and in your ability to wear them as Neva had – and the persons I’ve known who could [page 2] match her, or come even near to doing so, are precious few. I am sure, as I tried once before to say adequately that, were she here today to see you and know your qualities she would be both proud & relieved that I had the good sense to focus my interest and affection on someone so obviously fine and superior as you.
How well your camping jaunt these two days is turning out, I can’t guess, for I don’t know where you have gone or what the facilities for shelter from the weather are. It’s been cold & foggy over much of California (north of Tehachapi, at least) until today and the only change is that it is now cold and rainy instead of foggy. However, good companions & a proper attitude save any situation – and I trust your judgment in both respects. You were sweet enough to ask my reaction before making a firm agreement with your new friends and for this I honor & like you the more. I have no doubt that had I shown marked disappointment you would have turned down the venture & kept the dinner date with me. On the other hand, if I am to show you any of the kind of affection that I would be obligated to do were I your real father, (I hope from what you have told me of him, that I am doing better) I would be inconsiderate in the extreme. As I told you, I will miss you, for I consider myself to be honored every time you favor me with an evening – or with your presence even for a little while. And I should be hurt if you were to show in any way that your consideration for me [page 3] were only a superficial gesture – that would crush me – but as it is, I am happy to see you happy. I know that our dinner & show engagements are only postponed a little and I am sure that you would not ask to be excused from our date for purely trivial reasons, so I can lightheartedly say – if this is what you really desire; if it seems rewarding in what it offers to you, then I would not want to bar your way at all. I really meant it when I said you can trust me utterly & also that I desire most of all to bring to you the happiness & opportunities that fate has never made possible for me to do for a daughter of my own. Only I still hope that, as time goes by the feeling of trust and confidence and the happiness that it engenders can become more & more like that between a real father and a real daughter. I want only for you to succeed in reach worthwhile goals that you set for yourself; in always selecting & retaining as friends the persons most worthy of friendship. I want you to achieve, always to remain alert, human in your outlook, courageous, exploratory in life, & ready to play the role in the turbulent world in which we live that you are capable of doing. That way, my sweet, you will always remain as beautiful as you are and as admirable; a tower of strength to those who look to you as an example and a source of inspiration to all who, like me, must live or die by that inspiration.
My niece, Lindy Williams, is home for the week from Santa Barbara U.C. – as also is her [page 4] tall boyfriend & fiancé, Mark Dawson. They are coming in to see me in my apartment tomorrow around 2:00 P.M. I should like nothing better than to have you join us for a brief visit and refreshments for thought Lindy lacks your maturity, experience and judgment, she is a fine & spirited you lady – vivacious & pretty too. However, in all probability you will not yet be back from your camping, unless the rain drives you home.
When I got back from my sister’s at Chico, I had a telephone – No. 286,9976, so when you get home, if I don’t beat you to it, give me a buzz. I’m holding Saturday evening for our dinner & possibly the movie too – but we can make the necessary agreement when we make contact.
My younger sister, Joyce, also is someone whom, should circumstances conspire favorably, you’d enjoy knowing. She is one of the most open minded & considerate persons I know & she’d put you at your ease in very few minutes. However, I think you’d find her interesting because of her art. – She has artistic talent oozing out of her fingertips, yet is quite modest about it. She has produced creditable work in the fields of painting, ceramics, wood carving, mask making, collage & mixed media (metal & wood), also in metal sculpture & is recognized as one of the artists in the Chico Colony. And she has friends in number among the worthwhile students at Chico State. They think the world of her. Well, darling, I’ll terminate this effusion & try for a few hours sleep. With loads of love as always – “Deine Götte papa”
Carl.